Mid-way thru Day 276, discontent and frustrated, I ducked into a variety shop and picked up 3 ramen noodle packs for a buck, and a bag of ripple potato chips/crisps for $1.25.  I’ve given up desserts, and truly find I don’t mind life without sweet treats at all — not even without my once-beloved mangoes.  …
" /> Jason Holborn | Cybercarnet/Weblog - Days Without Sugar: Caught, Red-Handed

Days Without Sugar: Caught, Red-Handed

Mid-way thru Day 276, discontent and frustrated, I ducked into a variety shop and picked up 3 ramen noodle packs for a buck, and a bag of ripple potato chips/crisps for $1.25. 

I’ve given up desserts, and truly find I don’t mind life without sweet treats at all — not even without my once-beloved mangoes.  Juicier fruits got struck off my list (tho I’m allowed mango, or melon, if someone happens to have one at a picnic).  Honestly, the idea of cutting out potato chips and even whole grain rye bread and brown long grain rice is surprising to me; I’m FLOORED how many people think I’m living without those.  I guess if you ate a lot more avocadoes and chick peas and cauliflower, you wouldn’t miss these items, yet they do seem necessary.  O!, if I had a private chef, I’d eat like the Superman I’d like to be.  Still, I do sometimes break down to stress and eat these things – like, at this moment, when I brought my four items to the checkout counter.

The owner looked me staright in the eyes.

“You the house with no sugar?”

I was REALLY FLOORED now.  I did a guilty double-take.  I stammered that Yes, I was.

Now was he going to tell everyone that he saw me buying refined processed carbohydrates?

I was taken aback.  And I felt a weight!

Sometimes, I think of the painful realizations Bruce Wayne must have thru out life, as the greater and heavier responsibilities that come with his choices and his own impossible personal standards become clearer and more defined.  Wow!  Batman sometimes must break down and weep all alone in the cave; how can he not? 

A barista told me once that a client told her, “that (window’s owner) is a legend”. 

You know what?  I hate potato chips and ramen noodles.  For real.  Ugh.  It would so, so, so not be a sacrifice to give these up.  I’d rather have dehyrdated kale chips and a curry guacamole.  I’d rather have someone to give me a hug.  I’d rather be making a movie.  If I could push a button and never, ever even view these items again, I might break it pressing it too eagerly. 

I could not believe that this guy at the store recognized me.  Could not believe it.  Lo no tampoco puedo creer hoy. 

I never should have agreed to talk to the press!  I laughed it off when people told me, “Oh, this’ll get in the papers!”  I said I would just say No if they called me up.  It never occurred to me that they would just show up and poke a head in my window.  I was totally unprepared.  I feel more sympathy for people on the news now; they’re probably thrust into it unexpectedly, the same way.

I never wanted to be “recognized” for giving up candy and cereal and juice; it never really occurred to me that I’d ever be recognized!  I thought some of my friends might say, “Good going!”, if I hit 100, which would feel nice.

Maybe after today, I can consider a magic no-chips button to be pressed.  Maybe now, I’ll learn a healthy paranoia that somebody is always watching me. 

I think it would totally, utterly cool if no one knew whose window it was.  How I envy Banksy; how does he/she pull it off?  Still, if it were to help me never eat a potato chip again, whatever my egotistical, un-Spock-like mood, I guess it would be worth it.  I could find a better way to deal with life than with chips.  I hear push-ups can be good for stress.  Is it realistic to replace guilty snacking with a series of press-ups?  (And, why does it feel “weird” to picture oneself dropping and popping off ten push-ups and “familiar” to recall stuffing your mouth with an entire bag of low-sodium chips last month on a local streetcorner?)  What else can I do for those soul-searching moments?

Are you there, God, the Universe, Destiny?  It’s me, Days Without Sugar.  Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, and the will to change the things I cannot accept.  And mostly, the wisdom and imagination to know the difference.  Thanking you in advance.  Have a nice day.

I can do it.  Je peux le faire.  Lo puedo.

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